Why That's Methed Up:

Wow, who wouldn't want to live in a state where "accidental" discoveries of 900 pounds of "party favors" are just a normal Tuesday afternoon? I mean, it's not like the good people of Minnesota didn't already have enough excitement in their lives, what with all the lakes and snow and... oh wait, now they can also enjoy the thrill of possibly stumbling upon a metric ton of "special medicine" while walking down the street. And don't even get me started on the "major market" aspect – I'm sure it's just a coincidence that Minneapolis-St. Paul has become a hub for all things "extra-strength sparkles." I mean, who wouldn't want to live in a city where you can't go two blocks without tripping over a connection to international drug cartels? It's like the ultimate social networking experience! Just imagine the small talk: "Hey, Bob, how was your day?" "Oh, just the usual – got caught up with some 'friends' from southern Mexico and accidentally stumbled upon 900 pounds of... you know, recreational substances. You?"