Why This Can't Be News:

Oh boy, do I have a good one for you today! It's like they say, "Florida Man" never ceases to amaze me with his ridiculous antics. But this story takes the cake, folks. Or should I say it takes the glazed doughnut? So, let me set the scene for you: 64-year-old Daniel Rushing is just trying to do some good deeds in the world - he drops off a friend at chemotherapy and then gives an older lady from his church a ride home from her shift at 7-Eleven. What a stand-up guy! But little does he know, he's about to become the star of a very embarrassing story. As Rushing is driving away from the convenience store, the cops pull him over for doing 42 in a 30 zone (talk about a buzzkill) and then proceed to search his car. And what do they find? Crystals on the floorboard that test positive for methamphetamine! Yeah, sure thing, officers - because nothing says "meth" like a little glaze from a Krispy Kreme doughnut. I mean, come on, dude, you're 64 years old and never smoked a cigarette?! You must be some kind of saint! But no, the cops aren't having it. They book Rushing for possessing meth while armed with a weapon (because, of course, he's got a concealed-weapons permit) and throw him in jail for over 10 hours before releasing him on bail. It wasn't until the Florida Department of Law Enforcement did some actual testing that they figured out what we all knew from the very beginning: those crystals were just plain old doughnut glaze! And to add insult to injury, Rushing spent time in jail with a guy who was laughing at him and telling him he had a "real good lawsuit here" - because, let's be real, this is a recipe for a hilarious court battle. In the end, all charges were dropped and Rushing walked away with $37,500 (not bad for a little mistake).