Why That's Methed Up:

Alright, raccoons, meth pipes, and traffic stopsoh my! Its like something straight outta Animal Crackers Meets Meth Crackers. Let me break this down for you because its a story thats so ridiculous it might as well be a scene from an episode of Breaking Bad directed by National Lampoon's Animal House, starring Chewbacca (but not the one in Star Wars, just some random raccoon named Chewy). First off, weve got Victoria Vidal, who seems to have a thing for naming her pets after characters from Star Wars. I mean, "Chewy"? Cmon, lady. Are you trying to tell us something? Or are you just really into the Dark Side of the Forceor should I say, the Dark Side of Methamphetamine? Either way, its clear she and Chewy have a special bondone that involves sharing meth pipes. Now, lets talk about this traffic stop. Officer Branham didnt go looking for trouble; he was just doing his job when he spotted Victoria Vidal driving around like a total space cadet (pun intended). But then things got weirdreally, really weird. Instead of finding some human suspect in the driver's seat, he found Chewy, the raccoon, holding a glass meth pipe. Im sure Officer Branham thought he was having one of those "did I fall asleep and wake up on Mars?" moments. Hey, Chewy, hows the force with you today? probably wasnt part of his standard police procedure. But heres the kicker: Not only did they find Chewy chilling in the driver's seat with a meth pipe, but they also found an entire stash of drugs hidden somewhere else in the cara bulk amount of methamphetamine and crack cocaine. Oh, and three used glass meth pipes for good measure. So basically, this wasnt just some random animalistic high; it was a full-on drug operation. Except instead of dogs barking at mail carriers, we have raccoons sitting in driver's seats with meth pipes. Now, I gotta say, Victoria Vidal is really setting a new standard for multitasking. Shes got a warrant, suspended license, and now shes also got to deal with Chewys arrest record (if raccoons even have those). But hey, at least Chewy didnt get hurt in the process. That's gotta be a relief to Victoriathough Im sure hell still need some serious rehab after that meth pipe incident. And lets not forget about the paperwork and documentation Victoria had for owning Chewy. Talk about being prepared! Shes probably got all his medical records, vaccination history, and even a special diet plan just in case raccoons develop food allergies to methamphetamine. In conclusion, this story is so absurd it almost writes itself. Its like a bizarre cross between The Hangover and Animal House, with a sprinkle of Breaking Bad. And remember, kids: Always keep your raccoons away from drugs, or they might end up in the driver's seat next to you. #ThatsMethedUp